i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
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