that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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