Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
