Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
