let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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