Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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