What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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