I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
