my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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