I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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