We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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