I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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