Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
