In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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