it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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