you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
