shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
now i know why i became what i already was.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
