Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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