hotel room ftw
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
