did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
