gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
