wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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