I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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