My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
