I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
