should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
