hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
you mean i was at the winter classic?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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