I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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