your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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