I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
