Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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