HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
