she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
did you just send me my own nude
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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