talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
