Dual....:-)
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I will be naked everywhere
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
