I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
