Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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