I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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