Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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