My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
