Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
