It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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