ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I supernannyed him into submission
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
