Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
