woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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