Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
