dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
