I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Randomize
