I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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