Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
