I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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