we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
