Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
