Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
she told me i tasted like america
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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