Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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