Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
