please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
