Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize