I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
