just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
