butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
