this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
