Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
