She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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