I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
