turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
