He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
