I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
