Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
