If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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