hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
