Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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