they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
