the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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