I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
